Archive for May, 2012

Now, usually I don’t do this. This isn’t a blog post about the R. Kelly song Ignition, but if that’s what helps you sleep at night (the way it helps me), I suggest you get the jams cranked and try to forget about the weekend that wasn’t.

The Blue Jays were swept by the Texas Rangers in something that resembled a massacre. I can’t confirm that Josh Hamilton is leatherface, but with two games that ended with Texas in the double digits, and a heartbreaking extra-innings loss in the middle, he’s not my favourite person in the major leagues. Like, just never going to think about running my hands through his fro.

Let’s all laugh it off as the Jays return home to face the first place Orioles by looking at the five best (and by best, I mean ARE YOU SERIOUS) message board comments about the weekend. Hot and fresh out the kitchen.

1. FIRE EVERYONE!!!!

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A far less charismatic version of George Clooney’s character in Up In The Air has joined the party and wants everyone to be fired. To make it better, he’ll send each coach to a different part of the country and then fly out to fire them to rack up frequent flyer miles.

2. KEEP IT REAL

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What I’m really seeing here is a hidden message, like when you do a word search and then there are leftover letters that spell a mystery word. It also could express the areas WHERE there REALLY WAS a point to be MADE over .500

Signed: EASY ON THE CAPS BRO! REALISTICALLY.

3. Making plans

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In consulting my planner, I can clearly see that the Jays planned to lose 87 games this year. I’m not kidding! I can see each and every single loss penciled into this invisible dayplanner that I share with the team. Sometimes we think about winning certain games. The Saturday game was supposed to be a win, but everyone forgot to tell Igarashi because he’s new, and then it was like “Sorry man, if you had looked at the planner, you’d know you were getting DFA-ed on Sunday and you probably shouldn’t have tried to be the hero and skyrocket your ERA.”

4. Getting in on it

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I mean, duh, yes. Cal Hamels is the hybrid player I created in my basement using the stats from Cole Hamels’s baseball-reference.com chart as well as 34 Cal Ripkin Jr. baseball cards and a LOT of masking tape and some hair extensions I got in Chinatown. I’ve sent countless emails to the Blue Jays front office, and they’ve already acknowledged their interest through a letter I received with the subject “MAILER-DAEMON Mail Delivery Subsystem”. It sounds very interesting.

5. The perhaps list

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Perhaps some losses can better be attributed to pulling starters out of games in the first two innings. Perhaps some deficits in a line up, bullpen, or rotation can be attributed to injury. Perhaps if the umpires weren’t holding grudges against the entirety of the Blue Jays like a dramatic ex-boyfriend, you win some. Perhaps other times things get real bad and you don’t. Perhaps the bleacher critics should grab another beer and sit back down instead of throwing their helmets in the wrong direction. Perhaps.

This and That: Baseball Observations

Posted: May 16, 2012 by centennialsports in Baseball

by Tom Ruminski

The time has come where I must plunge back into the blogosphere and continue my quest for online print domination. I have stood by for weeks in silence and allowed too much news to slip by without being critiqued. In particular, there are a couple of events that have caught my eye in the wonderful world of baseball. So without any further delay here is my hit list for this week.

Welcome back to Canada Vladdy

1. How the hell are the Toronto Blue Jays above .500?

Seriously!? This team has no business being even close to the mark, and yet somehow they currently stand four games over. Moreover, if the playoffs started today, Canada would see October baseball for the first time since 1993, and we all know what happened back then. Despite the epic struggles by Adam “I am still living in 2009 season” Lind, and Jose “I have forgotten how to hit a baseball” Bautista, as well as the massive struggles by the bullpen. The success of the Blue Jays this season can be attributed to their young rotation and their ability to hit with runners in scoring position. Currently, the likes of Ricky Romero, Brandon Morrow, Kyle Drabek, and Henderson Alvarez are a combined 13-9 with an ERA of 2.70 and 19 quality starts. In terms of clutch hitting, Toronto is hitting just above .300 when a runner is at second base or further. Taking all of this into consideration, this team could be scary when they put it all together. Oh and one more thing… welcome to Canada Vladdy!

2. Bryce Harper is the f*cking man!

The baseball world is ablaze as a result of the captivating play of Washington Nationals prospect Bryce Harper. Since his call up on April 28th, the 19-year-old Las Vegas native has hit .237 with, two homeruns, five RBI and an OPS of .710. Although the offensive numbers have been mediocre, the most impressive aspect of Harper’s game has been his play in left field. In a mere 16 games, the former first overall pick in the 2010 First Year Player Draft has already made several eye-popping plays in the field. So far, the dude has been a human highlight reel, just check the film.

If you need any more proof of this man’s super human abilities just check out his steal of home against Cole Hamels and the Philadelphia Phillies. Once again here is the tale of the tape to prove it.

With so much hype surrounding Harper, it would have not been a surprise if the rookie would have underperformed, after all, this kid was born in 1993. However, so far he has lived up to the billing as the best prospect to hit the Majors since Ken Griffey Jr. in 1989. Get accustomed to seeing this guy all over the leaderboards for the next two decades!

3. Josh Hamilton is not a human being

Dear Mr. Selig,

This is a letter of notification from the U.S. army. We are contacting you because we have discovered that you have some property that belongs to us. We would like it returned before things get any further out of control. One of our test-subject super soldiers escaped years ago and is now wreaking havoc in the MLB under the alias of Josh Hamilton. As you might already know, he is capable of outer-worldly acts. In fact, so far this season he is destroying everything in his path. Currently, he is hitting .400, with 18 homeruns, 44 RBI, and an OPS of 1.044. In fact, this week alone he hit. 479, with nine homeruns, 15 RBI and 15 runs scored. In light of this recent activity, it is in your best interest to co-operate with the armed forces are risk the possibility of losing all parity within categorical leaders. I repeat, this monster is more than capable of winning the Triple Crown.

Yours truly,
Uncle Sam

Fine…I guess I’ll get out of bed…

Posted: May 3, 2012 by skrizznasty in Uncategorized

By Mikey Scrizz

It’s a wonderful feeling knowing you can just wake up, avoid the bus and the long, depressing ride to school where I spend the majority of the day dreaming of which beer I’m going to enjoy while watching the NHL or NBA playoffs (avoid the new Coors Light Iced Tea despite its sensual acronym) or which celebrities I have a legitimate shot with (I know I have no shot with Beyonce, so I’ll settle for Jenna Fischer…call me Pam?).

With all of the extra time on my hands, I have been able to take in the latest from the world of sports and if I’ gonna take a page out of one of my journalistic idols, Peter King (the only MMQB, sorry Jesse Palmer) and let you all know ten things that only I may think:

1. Yu Darvish- Yeah he’s pretty good…

I bet you were expecting another play on words.

Shame on Yu.

Shame on Yu for showing Blue Jays fans what they are missing out on. Darvish is the first rookie since Kazuhisa Ishii 10 years ago to start his MLB career 4-0. Darvish pitched seven strong innings, striking out nine while only allowing one run Monday night at the Rogers Centre.

Seriously, that breaking ball is filthy.

I don’t want to harp on the Jays’ rotation because they have been surprisingly good to start the year but I can only imagine what may have been if Yu was apart of it. Maybe Coco and Santos would have had some nights off…

2. Goodell drops the hammer once again on the Saints and I’m not surprised at all.


Jonathan Vilma has been suspended for the entire 2012 season for his involvement in the bounty scandal that shook the sports world this past March. He isn’t the only suspended player though- defensive end Will Smith and former Saints Scott Fujita and Anthony Hargrove were also suspended for their roles in the controversy. Hargrove will serve an eight-game suspension as a member of the Green Bay Packers and Fujita will miss the first three games of the Cleveland Browns’ season.

Although I agree you can’t suspend EVERY player involved with the scandal, Roger Goodell had to suspend these four men who he believed were the ringleaders amongst the players involved. Vilma supposedly offered 10 grand out of his own pocket to any teammate that injured an opponent.

Vilma will be losing approximately $4.5 million this year because of the suspension. I wonder if the former Miami U linebacker will ask for that 10-grand back?

3.The NBA title is right there for the Heat. No excuses.

No Dwight Howard, no Derrick Rose means there is NO reason for the Heat not being able to steam roll through the depleted Eastern conference. The Bulls were possibly the only team to stop Miami because of their strong defence, rebounding and efficiency on offence. Without Derrick Rose, the Bulls are very limited on the offensive side of the ball. Luol Deng is a good player but he can’t go head to head with LeBron 1-on-1. Joel Anthony, Chris Bosh and Udonis Haslem will play good enough defense to neutralize the Bulls frontcourt duo of Carlos Boozer and Joakim Noah.

The NBA is a superstar league. Since 1984, only 8 franchises have hoisted the Larry O’Brien trophy. Notable names from these teams are Jordan, Pippen, Kobe, Nowitzki, Duncan, Shaq, Olajuwon, Magic…you get the point. Sorry Chicago, no D-Rose= no title.

I expect teams in the Western Conference to kill each other. You can make arguments that the Thunder, Spurs or Lakers can all win the west this year. Both the Spurs and Lakers are veteran teams looking to get past the first round without any injuries. The Thunder are facing the reigning champions in round one. The Lakers and Thunder SHOULD meet in round two and is expected to be a greuling battle.

After all the chaos, one of these teams are going to have to face a fresh Miami squad whose biggest competition may be the Indiana Pacers…maybe the Celtics? You get my point…

4. What the heck is going on in the NHL?

Both eight-seeds advanced to the second round, the Coyotes look like the 2000 New Jersey Devils, and Alex Ovechkin is only playing 13 minutes during Washington playoff victories?

I’ve heard the conspiracy reports surrounding this year’s NHL playoffs and it doesn’t seem so far-fetched. You could argue that seven of the eight playoff matchups in the first round were won by underdogs. Heck, even the Senators should have won game seven at Madison Square Garden…I apologize to my colleague John Spurr for bringing that up again..

Now the Coyotes and Kings are up 2-0 while the visiting Caps and Devils won their respective game twos in what seems like a gambler’s dream of a playoff bracket. I know everyone wants to see Philly and LA battle it out for Lord Stanley because of the Mike Richards/Jeff Carter backstory, but from what I’ve seen I think people should gear up for a Coyotes/Devils final as Gary Bettman wakes up in a cold sweat for the rest of the spring season…

5. Was this the greatest Manchester Derby ever?

on the undercard of the Manchester Derby…..Fergie vs Mancini

Manchester City fans have seen their share of disappointments. Watching the Manchester Derby Monday afternoon and hearing the fans of the sky blue chew off their fingernails, expecting another late goal which United is prone to do in important games…this game between the top two teams in England was one of the greatest regular season games I have ever watched. The first half may have been a bore but the pace and drama picked up once Vincent Kompany headed the ball home to give City an extra step towards the league title.

The chase for the title is not over though. City must go on the road to face Newcastle for their next game. This is dangerous for City because all four of their losses this year have happened away from home while Newcastle is fighting for a top-four seed in the Premier League and a spot in next year’s Champions League tournament. The Red Devils face two opponents in Swansea City and Sunderland where they are likely to gain six points so all the pressure is now on City to close out the season with two victories.

Please MCFC, don’t do this to your fans. Plus, I wanna see what kind of ‘bling Balotelli showcases if City hoists the Premier League trophy.

6. Kudos, Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

After a strong draft last weekend, including Mark Barron, the top safety and possibly best defensive player available, and RB Doug Martin, who is being compared to Ravens running back Ray Rice, the Bucs signed former Rutgers defensive tackle Eric LeGrand. LeGrand, who was paralyzed after suffering a spinal cord injury on the field, was signed by Bucs coach Greg Schiano who coached LeGrand as the Scarlet Knights head coach. It’s a symbolic gesture so LeGrand won’t be receiving any salary but this doesn’t matter. Schiano recognized that this would have been LeGrand’s draft year.

“This small gesture is the least we could do to recognize his character, spirit and perseverance. The way Eric lives his life epitomizes what we are looking for in Buccaneer Men.”

Even if Barron and Martin don’t work out, the Bucs receive an ‘A’ for this post-draft move.

7. Glen Davis shows exactly what the playoffs are about.

If you think players take the regular season as seriously as they do the playoffs. You’re wrong. I don’t think Big Babay Davis had an interview as hilariously intense as the one he had in game two versus the Pacers.

Look at his face when the interviewer is asking him the second question. I love the playoffs.

But if you hate watching intense interviews, watch how Chris Bosh interview-bombs LeBron..

Reminds me of the Russell Peters skit where he talks about the “Indian accent” cutting tension in a court room. Hilarious.

  Forward to about 1:50…

8. Albert Pujols is human after all…

I don’t care what anyone else says, American League pitching is not THAT much better than National League pitching. Although I expect Pujols to hit a homerun in the first week of May, he is only hitting above the “Mendoza line” and slugging less than .300. Pujols had a slow start in 2011 and I expect him to put up Albert-esque numbers eventually but for a player who is considered “different” than other great hitters of his generation because of his quiet demeanor and lack of steroid allegations, Pujols hasn’t altered the notion that players sometimes “check-in” after receiving a huge contract. See: Barry Zito and Jayson Werth as two examples.

Pujols and the Angels are eight games back of the Rangers and St. Louis is 3.5 games ahead of everyone in the NL Central. It may be time for Albert to stop enjoying California life for a moment, so people like me can stop “speculating” on why he is struggling.

9. The Jack Adams Trophy debate starts…

For Coyote bench boss Dave Tippett, Penguins coach Dan Bylsma and the Panthers’ Kevin Dineen to not receive nominations for NHL coach of the year just shows you how great the three candidates are.

Ken Hitchcock took an under-achieving Blues squad who started the year 6-7 and finished the season with 109 points.

John Tortorella’s Rangers finished first in the East with a team that led the league in hits and was in the top four in the league in blocked shots and goals allowed.

Paul Maclean’s Senators were expected to give Edmonton and Columbus a run for the top two picks in the NHL Draft. Instead, Ottawa earned a playoff berth and jumped from 26th to 4th place in the NHL in scoring.

Anyone of these men deserve the award but for his ability to motivate Jason Spezza and Erik Karlsson I think Maclean will win the Jack.

10. Move over for now, October and February…

Seriously, has any true sports fan been bored since March Madness? October gets recognition as the “best time for a sports fan” because of 1, MLB playoffs. 2, the middle of the NFL season, 3 the start of the NBA/NHL seasons. February gets its daps as well because of the NFL playoffs, NBA and NHL seasons are well underway and March Madness is right around the corner…

However, I believe from the Final Four, to the Masters, to the beginning of playoff basketball and hockey occupying television screens from April to June could be the best stretch of sport-gasms for true sports aficionados.

Accompany that with the start of ball-hockey season and open patios, life is good. The only thing I can ask for to make it better is a reliable Jays bullpen.