Peyton’s Two Minute Warning

Posted: March 16, 2012 by centennialsports in Pigskin

By John Spurr

For the past decade when watching an Indianapolis Colts game, one of the most familiar sights was seeing Peyton Manning approach the line of scrimmage, observe the defense, then make some sort of weird gang-sign looking gesture and scream something funny like “banana” before finally snapping the ball. This audible would usually improve the Colts’ chances of running a successful play, and everyone would applaud Manning for his brilliance.

For the football nation, that has been closely watching Peyton’s free agency tour de force, it is beginning to look like Peyton has called another audible on us, and this time it might not end with a touchdown.

It was rumored in the days leading up to free agency by all the various news outlets, that Manning had a list of a few teams and that the decision on where to take his talents would be revealed quickly.

If that had actually happened, then the owner whom had successfully wooed Manning could then chase down other marquee free agents with their own personal Brinks truck full of cash.

How do you say no to this elegant young lady?

The early favourite in Manningpalooza 2012 was the Miami Dolphins and their B-level celebrity ownership dais. How could Manning say no to the skeleton of Marc Anthony or the highly insured curves of J-Lo. The Dolphins boasted a talented receiver in Brandon Marshall, the likes of which Manning hasn’t seen since Marvin Harrison packed up his gat and went home. It seemed like a pretty decent fit for an aging quarterback who prefers orchestrating his offence in pristine football conditions. When Marshall got traded to the Bears, the day after Manning was in contact with the Dolphins, everyone assumed that it was because Peyton didn’t want to work with Marshall and his many personalities. Since then though, it appears as if the Latin flair of South Beach has lost its appeal to Manning.

Peyton then became the Denver Broncos’ most eligible bachelor, as John Elway and Peyton toured around the facilities regaling each other with stories about how incredible the other one is. The word around Denver was that they were confident that Peyton was theirs and that Timma (for the South Park fans) would have to find another team to save. Really though, nobody thought that Peyton had any interest in the windy Mile High Stadium.

His adventure around the US took a stop in Arizona where the Cardinals and Larry Fitzgerald tried to convince him that if Kurt Warner could make it to the Super Bowl just imagine what Manning could do. Larry Fitzgerald represents a talent at receiver that Peyton has never experienced and it certainly seems like an alluring merger. Again though Peyton departed in search of something better.

It shouldn’t really come as a surprise that after a ton of travelling around, he returned to the place of his fun-loving university days in Tennessee. Or perhaps it was the appeal of fleecing the third most senile billionaire owner in the NFL (I’m not forgetting you Ralph Wilson or William Clay Ford Sr), for a yacht full of money was too exciting for Peyton. He has now been chewing the fat with the Tennessee Titans brass for two days and it does appear to be a good fit. The Titans boast a good offensive line to protect that fragile neck of his, as well as the sometimes electric Chris Johnson at tailback and a talented young receiving corps. This could be the proper fit for Manning but if it isn’t what then?

Free agency is now 3 days old and therefore the talent pool is three days depleted. Gone are most of the top receivers, obviously they are the pieces of a team that mean the most to Peyton, as well as the offensive linemen. His former partner in crime from Indy, wide receiver Reggie Wayne, has decided he’ll return to Indy and help Andrew Luck rebuild the team. Teams such as the Cardinals are unsure what they are supposed to do with their existing quarterbacks, and therefore may be forced to bow out on Manning. Tebow doesn’t know if he’s suppose to pray for the Broncos or for the Jaguars. With each passing hour, Peyton’s future team is losing out on players that could help him and his new team succeed this season.

In the end he’ll sign with a team and they will most likely be able to put together a decent roster around him. If they falter along the way though, the questions will arise, did Manning hinder his teams ability to build around him? Because we have all seen how he reacts when surrounded by poor talent….

  1. Peter says:

    I think he’s just trying to generate interest so he can get another SNL gig. He likes that stuff!

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